The Wellness Paradox: How Social Media Makes Self-Care Feel Like a Productivity Contest

Everywhere we look, self-improvement is being sold to us as the key to a better life. The “that girl” aesthetic, the 5 am morning routines, the daily/weekly wellness checklists to meditate, journal, skincare, workout, eat clean, invest, grow, evolve, repeat.

What started as a way to take care of ourselves has slowly turned into another endless and pressurising to do list, another impossible standard to measure ourselves against. And what happens if your version of rest and taking care of yourself doesn’t appear productive?

Is it even considered valid in your eyes anymore?

I’ve spent so much of my one precious life overthinking the things that actually bring me peace—just because they don’t look a certain way or wouldn’t be considered productive. But what about the things that don’t fit into this perfect little mould we’ve collectively curated? Like pulling tarot cards to process your emotions, only to end up with even more confusing feelings instead of happy ones, or lying in bed all morning because rest is what your body actually needed, even if it doesn’t look like “self-care” in the way social media defines it.

Life isn’t about optimisation. Healing, self-love, and real self-care are messy, unpredictable, painful and deeply personal. Yes, you might have dry skin from crying all night, but at least you allowed yourself to feel the things that kept you up in the first place. You might still be wearing the same old jumper every day, but that’s because you’ve been prioritising spending on more important things instead, like therapy or your mum’s birthday. Not everything you do has to be aesthetic, structured, or Instagram-worthy. The work you’re doing—the unseen, daily, unpolished, deeply human work of getting through the day—it counts more than anything. It’s real.

What is self-care?

There is a plethora of definitions of self-care. In the global health context, it surrounds the ability to promote and maintain health, prevent disease and cope with illness and disability (World Health Organisation, 2025). In the mental wellness sphere, it refers to the activities that preserve and maintain an individual’s holistic health, including physical, emotional and mental wellness (Life in Mind, 2023). However, in the social media domain, self-care has become a trending concept that hones in on visually appealing treatments, meals, products and routines that appear reserved for those privileged enough to invest in them. Self-care is portrayed as an aesthetic, a quest of productivity and an increasingly pressurised to do list we need to add on to our already busy (and sometimes chaotic) daily lives.

As self-care becomes more commodified and performative, we begin to see an unsettling shift in how it’s presented and consumed—particularly on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. And as much as you may think that this is not impacting your self-concept, it most likely is. As humans, we were never meant to be exposed to this number of people, nor were we naturally inclined to live through websites to showcase and compare our lifestyles with other communities.

Whilst I completely understand the only way in which you have arrived here is through social media, and that makes this post somewhat ironic, Kindred Impact is a safe space where we can unpack these pressures, and start creating something that’s truly authentic. Here, we get to explore how self-care can be genuine and collaborative, not performative. It’s about finding real ways to connect with ourselves and each other, beyond the noise and expectations we internalise. It’s a space where we don’t have to be perfect, and we may sometimes get it wrong. However, these reflections are here to support the processing of lofty thoughts and to grow awareness around things that can impact our ability to love.

The Influence of Social Media on Wellness: Are We Truly In Control?

In exploring the statistics around self-care and wellness trends on Instagram specifically, research highlights that the majority of posts are geared toward female audiences and span topics such as mental and emotional health, physical wellness and interpersonal relationships (Mullis et al., 2021). It is no wonder why as women we feel incredibly pressurised to conform to a standard of being that reflects the ever changing trends, routines and ways of life depicted in these posts. And you may argue that if people didn’t want to consume this content, they could simply take themselves away from social media and get on with their own lives – and to an extent, I agree! We can most definitely take breaks away from the things that drain us and call into action our conscious awareness of what is both good and bad for us.

However, we must question the extent to which we are actually consciously choosing the daily life that we lead, the content we consume and the messages we are internalising. It is now estimated that over 210 million people worldwide are suffering with a phone/social media/internet addiction (Lanier Law Firm, n.d.) In Australia specifically, research has found that 13.4 million Australians are now spending 18.8 hours per day online (The Cabin Sydney, n.d.)

18.8 hours a day. Are we really conscious of the way we’re consuming online?

Performative Self Care

This idea of performative self-care goes both ways—for the creators making the content and for the people consuming it. You might see a TikTok romanticising the journey of moving to Australia—the beautiful beaches, the excitement of a brand-new life, new friends, wellness routines, and iced coffees. But what you don’t see is the reality of leaving everything familiar behind, the stomach issues from stress and giving yourself food poisoning because your fridge wasn’t working properly (yes, that really happened), the nightmare of dodgy rental situations, or how your period hormones can randomly tip you over the edge :))

And as consumers, we walk a fine line between thinking that watching wellness content is an act of self-love, when really, it’s just another way to avoid actually doing the work. It’s easy to convince ourselves that scrolling through morning routines and self-improvement videos is helping us, but self-care is not something we consume, it’s a practice!

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel good, to grow and evolve – in fact it is the very essence of being a human! However, we must reconnect to our versions of self-care by intuitively forging our own path with dedication, softness and love rather than a bid for status, reach and achievement.

💡 Reflection point: Think about your own consumption of social media and wellness content specifically – take a moment to reflect on whether you use it to keep you distracted from doing what you actually need to do for yourself. How do you feel when you come away from it?

And the paradox? The very thing designed to make us feel better is making us feel worse.

The constant pressure to do self-care in the ‘right’ way leaves us feeling like we’re failing at the one thing that’s supposed to help us – which defeats the whole objective of self-care to begin with! What if real self-care wasn’t about doing more, but allowing yourself to just be, allowing yourself to be imperfect, messy, even lazy…  What if it wasn’t about perfect morning routines but about meeting yourself where you are?

Maybe self-care for you right now isn’t a weekly regime, but one step in the right direction.

What if you could…

🌿 Let yourself rest without guilt
🌿 Take a couple of deep breaths between tasks instead of putting pressure on yourself to meditate for 10 minutes every single day when it doesn’t fit into your busy schedule
🌿 Watch a comforting show that makes you laugh instead of forcing yourself to read a self-help book
🌿 Eating something that feels comforting instead of hitting a specific macro goal

🌿Save that difficult conversation until tomorrow when you’re better rested and less angry

True self-care isn’t a competition, not even with yourself.

It’s not something to perfect.

It’s a moment-to-moment check in, a practice of self-compassion, of checking in with yourself and asking: What do I actually need right now? What would I do for myself if I knew no one else was perceiving me?

Let’s challenge this productivity obsessed version of wellness. Let’s take self-care off the checklist and bring it back to what it was meant to be: something intuitive, nourishing, and a moment to disconnect from all the noise.

Yes, sometimes self-care may mean doing the hard thing, like ending a toxic relationship or doing the laundry you’ve been putting off, but sometimes, it’s just watching Netflix in your pants all day. Can we just be kind to ourselves please?

What’s one way you’re going to soften into self-care this week? Let’s talk in the comments. 💭👇

Love, Megs ❤

References:

Mullis, C., Nguyen, L., & Pappas, C. (2021). # selfcare on Instagram: Proactive Mental Health Has Its Moment. PANDION: The Osprey Journal of Research and Ideas, 2(1), 11.

The Cabin Sydney. (n.d.). Australian internet addiction: Outrageously hard-wired. The Cabin Sydney. Retrieved March 25, 2025, from https://www.thecabinsydney.com.au/blog/australian-internet-addiction-outrageously-hard-wired/

Life in Mind Australia. (2023). A guide to self-care. Retrieved March 25, 2025, from https://lifeinmind.org.au/suicide-prevention/approaches/wellbeing/self-care

World Health Organization. (2025). Self-care for health and well-being. Retrieved March 25, 2025, from https://www.who.int/health-topics/self-care#tab=tab_1

Lanier Law Firm. (n.d.). Social media addiction statistics. Lanier Law Firm. Retrieved March 25, 2025, from https://www.lanierlawfirm.com/social-media-addiction/statistics/